谢谢

谢谢你一直以来的假被笨的我当真。
刚认识你,很不喜欢,因为不是我的菜.. XD

我在你友情困难时插了进来。你说这是缘份。我说我只是你和你朋友之间的小插曲而已..很瞎.. 这是我有缘遇你但没份在一起。

我华语不是很好, 解释不是很好, 演技更死。对你我就只能说谢谢。谢谢你曾经来过我的世界给过我精彩, 给过有妹的感觉。

再来更谢谢你终于对我坦白，虽然小气的我这么一次你对我的坦白的代价很大。 但是你的坦白终于让我看到真正的你。 让我知道委屈你那么久对我的感觉, 但我对你, 我问心无愧。 从认识你和每个人的第一天, 我都是最真的我自己。 我时常让人对我的第一印象不好我无所谓。和你的时间,不长也不短, 你对我身边了解很多, 因为我对你没戒心。而我对你一无所知, 因为你从不说我也从不问。你恨我就不如当没认识过我这种对你没痛没痒的人吧! 我也会做一样的事。 事情的发生,在刚进你的世界我已预料了。 你叫我不要放弃,我也试过努力挽回。 最后大家的固执，结束了我们的友谊。谁对谁错,大家心里明白。 对我,不再重要了。 不要再委屈自己扮对我友好了。 就继续活在你的世界吧。

天使会说愿你早日觉悟，但对不起。 我不是

L.I.E

'I LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE'...... when heard this lyric, im surely know i fall in love in love in this song.. WHY ? because im a liar..? yes i am.. who never lie ? i dont care.. bt i do lie always..

some frens says im very straight til all the words i spilt out is hurts.. bt i din realize.. there are some pl say im too fake when talking to frens, yes i am.. i jus don wan to hurt pl.. yes, u're so pretty today.. yes, u're so handsome wear this..

when with my hearts friend, im deadly truth..(ok, maybe there 1 only im not realy true to her now XD) they know me well than myself sometime.. sometimes i also feel im very annoying when im not happy or piss off in something. this is because my hearts friend not much. so thats why i keep call pl who i trust spilt it out.. yes, im not a good person who keep my own secret & feeling(except pl who tel me theirs).. this also make me feels im useless when i couldnt share when my hearts friend are not happy or when i heard they've hurt themself. i always says : why don come to find me ? why don tell me ? why ? maybe im not the 1.. yea.. this do happen always recently =(

define lie, why do pl lie ? i duno..

why i lie ? in my world i only have 2 types of lie, avoid to hurting pl & dont want you to worry abt me..

myself i know sometime pl lie to me, i choose to believe because i sincere to them. when there is hurts, i choose to hurt myself more. then all those my bad rumors out.

it jus happen jus now, i realize there a pl stil never change, she is stil d same person when i meet her, bt i cant let her know the truth to make hurts come out again. then i spilt it out in fb to release, end up i feel so stupid, she wont be change & she wont be in ur life if u don wan to.. so wat for i so piss off. then my hearts fren used to say : u should have realize when he/she talk, u must know how to diff true & lie. i choose to be speechless.. sometime this may works, last year christmas, the is a very old fren she ask 1 of my fren, dunno i'll forgive her ono.. few months ago, my fren he ask me stil angry with him ono, ask me to forgive him.

this prove im not wrong that time.. pl will realize.. im also wish that you will realize y im so stand on my own thinking..

be strong.. proud to be urself, don care wat pl thinking abt u anymore.

jus a crap XXX

well, js back to my humtown after almost 1 month of fighting v my assignment.. its been a very tough month.. i've lost all my contacts v most of my frens.. well hell yea.. this whole month i've  thinking of many things.. beginning of the month im so childish keep upset abt every relationship i step into.. friendship, family, partners, collmate and some shit..

im so lazy to keep every good in situation.. im too lazy trying to maintain all those shit.. now there is come another problem.. im very lazy to build up new relationship.. but every pl have to.. especially friendship.. pl have to build up network.. this is wat my family told me.. i hate this.. bt im trying hard.. wats the hard most? self thinking.. at 1st, (sry to b mean) see those who not so good in several condition.. im lazy talk to them.. skip.. 2nd, those who too pround of themself.. go ahead, talk to mirror.. skip.. 3rd, those who only talk to rich o so called  high class pl.. pls don talk to me, im NOT.. back off..  bt now, im trying to build up network v those pl.. trying to make my EQ higher.. this is good for me to train myslef.. i love to mix v those pl who is elder than me.. especially gurls.. mayb can learn something from them.. ngek ngek..

my buddies, who know me well.. sure sick of hearing me ask the same thing.. 'if this happen to you then how ar?' i duno how to deal sudden situation rationally.. haih, how stupid am i.. there is something happen recently too.. well,the most good unhurt thing i do is do ntg.. js let go.. i don wan to do any competition.. there is some pl who hurts me.. i js duno y they luv to make me sad when i give my heart out to them.. if this call karma pls don cum to me.. i never hurt my frens..(except my bf)

there is a girl call me princess.. after she see most of my frens's profile in my facebook.. well, i rather u call me 'lifeless bitch'.. suddenly fell in luv v this word.. haha.. talk abt travelling, i luv to..bt js went for asia country only.. how sad.. talk abt branded.. well, i jus have not more than 10 branded bags.. (summore some is 2nd hand from my mom) swt.. talk abt fashion, muahahaha.. almost wat i wear is black.. i din even see magazine.. (mayb i heard abt vogue) hahaha..

when my brain started to think all this rubbish, my shawny.. he is the only 1 who can pampered me.. its worth for me to buy him.. he is sleping right beside me now.. see his sleepy face is edi enuf to calm myself.. today my parent trying to ask me sit down watch tv v them..is it too long i nvr do this? feels weird, but very warm.. i luv this feels.. mom dad, i'll get most of my time to spend v u guys before i went to uk.. i love you tee ling ngo & pang ah chai..

phiew, ok.. its 4.30 am now.. imma goin to cont my series to make myslef slep.. nite nite shryne, be tough..

My Love >>> Black Tulip

Black tulips, also named as Queen of the Night~~

Between the dark and the daylight,
When the night is beginning to flower
Comes a pause in the days occupation
That is known as the Black Tulip hour

                                                               Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Nowdays black tulips are number four on America's top 10 list of favorite tulips.

In the dim light of dawn and twilight, the black tulip looks nearly jet-black. Although not actually black in color, the Black Tulip puts an aura of midnight moonlight into your garden with a royal shade of deep purple and is especially striking in the midday sunshine when paired with bright yellow or crimson red tulips. However, planting the Black Tulip to bloom with your other tulip cultivars takes some careful preparation, since the Black Tulip tends to bloom later in the season than other tulip bulbs.

The Black Tulip is also known as the Queen of the Night. The Queen of the Night is the closest that hybridists have come to creating a ture black tulip.

Black Tulips are an excellent choice for cut flower arrangements, as either an addition to color or a striking display on their own.

 

this is why i love u

Mystery Black with Gold

happy birthday DD

hi, i know tomorow is ur birthday.. but i better post up now.. i maybe busy tomoro.. haha XD
well this is the song i wanted to give it to you last year.. but i dont have the guts. so now~~~\

Hey you
I know I'm in the wrong
Time flies
When you're having fun
You wake up
Another year is gone
You're twenty-one (actually 22)

I guess you wanna know
Why I'm on the phone
It's been a day or so
I know it's kind of late
But Happy Birthday

Yeah yeah whoa
I know you hate me
Yeah yeah whoa
Well I miss you, too
Yeah yeah I know
I know it's kinda late
But Happy Birthday

So hard
When you're far away
It's lame but I forgot the date
I won't make the same mistake
I'm so to blame

So now you know
Don't hang up the phone
I wish I was at home
I know it's way too late
But Happy Birthday

Yeah yeah whoa
I know you hate me
Yeah yeah whoa
Well I miss you, too
Yeah yeah I know
I know it's kinda late
But Happy Birthday
It's not that I don't care
You know I'll make it up to you
If I could, I'd be there

Yeah yeah whoa
Yeah yeah whoa

Well I miss you, too
Yeah yeah I know
I know it's kind of lame
But Happy Birthday

Yeah yeah whoa
I know you hate me
Yeah yeah whoa
Well I miss you, too
Yeah yeah I know
I know it's kind of late
But Happy Birthday
To You

It's Over....

I watch the wall around me crumble
but it's not like I wont build them up again
so here's your last chance for redemption
So take it while it lasts cause it will end


And my tears are turning into time
I've wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye


I can't live without you
Can't breathe without you
I dream about you, honestly
tell me that it's over
cause if the world is spinning and I'm still living
It won't be right if we're not in it together
tell me that it's over
And I'll be the first to go
Don't wanna be the last to know

I won't be the one to chase you
but at the same time you're the heart that I call home
I'm always stuck with these emotions
and the more I try to feel the less I'm whole


My tears are turning into time
I've wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye


I can't live without you
Can't breathe without you
I dream about you, honestly
tell me that it's over
cause if the world is spinning and I'm still living
It won't be right if we're not in it together
tell me that it's over

And I'll be the first to go
Yeah, I'll be the first to go
Don't wanna be the last to know

Over... Over... Over...

My tears are turning into time
I've wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye


I can't live without you
Can't breathe without you
I dream about you, honestly
tell me that it's over
cause if the world is spinning and I'm still living
It won't be right if we're not in it toget
tell me that it's over
tell me that it's over
over

Honestly tell me
Honestly tell me

Don't tell me that it's over

If wan read this pls don be mean.. this is what my feels... ^^

>)Release(<

Finally finally & finally i've done 1 thing i wan to do for very long time ago.. Now i've done it.. 2 years ago, i've realize all the things i though is totally wrong.. especially wat i've learn is 'never ever play game in relationship'.. Do u believe in karma..? Guess what? I finally believe.. It do happen to me right now..

What is the thing i wan to do for so long..? Is i wanna admit my wrong  abt what i've done to him 2 years ago.. How..? There is a night 1 of my babe, Victoria tel me some what Jess*#@%  tryin to let her know how bad am i in my past, the way i treat my ex.. Yes, its truth.. I've make him crazy.. I admit it.. But maybe 1 thing u don know bitch! Is i never ever LIE ! If any pl ask me abt how fantasy is my past, im surely say it honestly.. For those frens i've 'hurt' pls don say so much how much i've hurt u.. This is because i've no doubt the way i treat my frens.. Pl who know me well sure know i treat frens better than my bf.. lolz, i feel like totally bitch now.. yea, im.. so..? But what i do from now on, i do it by my heart sincerely.. FAKE not my style.. Well, until now i think i never treat anyone bad except 1 lifeless bitch who deserve it.. haha.. XD (babe,pls don mad at me)

okok..

(DD, i am sorry..) This is what i wan to say out loud.. I never wan u to forgive.. I jus wan say it out how much i regret when i lost u.. But is ok now.. ^^ we both have our own new life & different happy ending.. Glad to see u have a happy life.. Opps.. not see.. is hear.. haha ^^

10 little th!ngs I LOVE U~

bobo.. see ur babe me so good, din update my thing 1st but urs 1st.. haha (actually those pic have to load, im lazy)
sry, bobo.. until nw i stil no idea hw to celebrate ur bday.. to be honest, i din realize we together almost 2 years d.. its really surprising me.. haha..

so here, make u happy.. let u know what i love abt u la~~~

1~ of cos all my frens know, u always be there help me done all my assignment no matter how hard it is..
      i know im bad never say thanks, bt u know u love me too la.. hahaha

2~ always be my driver when i need u.. bt bobo, i prefer u drive my car.. haha XD

3~ always explain to me when im not understand the movie.. bt bobo, pls improve ur explaination, don always ask u wat is rebellion then u answer me rebellion la.. swt =.=||| 

4~ always be my english teacher even u always laugh at me stupid, NVM i can scold u in chns back.. haha u dunno le??!!!

5~ i love bobo hold my hand went up stair sleep & on the lights for me.. hehe u know i afraid of ghost..

6~ i love bobo always give me ur skeleton arm, hug me & calm me sleep.. poor u keep change hand when another hand is numb.. haha

7~ always eat other part of chicken cos u know i love wings.. actually i know u like chicken wings too.. haha

8~ love u started less smoking for me.. im trying too.. lets work together bobo..

9~ love ur dance at home.. (only me & gizmo can see only)

10~ this is what i love u most ! nick aw tiong ghee.. u never give me up easily, at the begining u waiting for me. u never give up me when i keep push u away, u say we tolerate, actually i know is u tolerate me more.. u let me be selfish gf.. u let me be the girl pl envy me so much.. i love u bobo..

18~01~2010

today, some of my frens ask where do i count down my brithday.. 
so ok, i post this out let u guys know.. haha..

actually, i've never plan to count down.. 
cause im too busy after i wake up early in the morning.. 
i've to help my parent take care of their shops cause mommy & daddy sick in same time swt.. 
no choice la, who ask them yesterday so yeng suddenly good in mood say im 21 years old d so wanted to bring me go casino.. 

haha, actually i've went in before edi jus they dunno only.. 
see how good gal am i infront of them haha.. 
so when reach genting there is quite late d cause need visit my youngest bro a while.. 
daddy fast fast run to his lovely playground 1st cause he don wan waste him time to accompany us buy clothes for my bro.. 
when talk abt my bro..? 
1 word
~ haih~

he wear a very normal t-shirt, short pant && slipper !!! 
argh~! 
so no choice la, need help him buy from top til down.. 
so regret din capture his before & after look..
freaking different.. 
before, he so like at hometown yam cha look.. 
after, he do really so yeng zai like ready to club.. 
haha, he is goin to lose his very 1st time club v me soon.. 

then we try bring my underage bro to casino.. 
1st door check, he failed.. 
2nd door check, failed.. 
3rd door check, success.. yeah~ 
guess wat..? 
give guards money..?
no no no.. 
use my bobo's IC.. 
hahaha.. 
they also got check me too, yeah~ i look young.. 
haha.. 

after that bobo & daddy teach my bro little bit abt gamble things.. 
haih, 2 gambler pls don teach bad little boy la.. sad.. 
we jus go in around 2 hours only then go to the casino's restaurant have supper.. 
haih, my fav buffet boh liao.. 
now change to stupid mainly dishes.. 
not nice to eat at all also.. 
bluek.. 
so, thats all our vacation then we reach home around 2am something.. *this is the reason y daddy & mommy exhausted fall sick jor.. haha   


ohya, forget to say how i count down.. hehe, its in the car v my bobo~! yeah ! how..?

aiyoyo, stil got any excited thing can do in car middle of the night~~
~think more than that~

jeng jeng jeng

V

V

V

V

V

V

V

V

V

by stuck in jam of block on the way back to kl.. muahahah
but anyway, im happy of it cause i get a lots of birthday wishes summore there is a very unexpected pl wish me too.. haha

happy birthday to myself
xoxo, no gossip girl ><"

G!zmo wash white white ><"

suddenly feel like want to share my 2 weeks din bath silky terrier dog, gizmo's look..
ngek ngek.. before & after...

 lol, momo's stinky look.. ew.... hehehe.. so afraid, at the sink, prepare to let me bath him.. ngek ngek..

after the bubble & water war~!!!

~

~~

~~~

~~~~

~~~~~

~jeng jeng jeng~

muahahah... leng zai le.. hohoho

all right, thats all i wanna share..

have a nice day, woof woof..

what am i avoiding for ?

fuck ! im freaking dizzy recently..

too much stress coming now..

mom ask not to think so much cause im stil young..?

damn ! im almost 21 now mom !

its the time now..

i must face the fact..

i must plan for my future..

i miss all my time when im in kindergarden..

so young, so little..

but big boss, mom dad love me so much..

 in primary..

shryne still is the boss who always bully pl..

mom dad keep forgiving & teach me how to love pl..

in secondary..

result keep goin worst..

mom dad start worrying..

in college..

don need to say..

~GG~

so what..?!

i know my bad..

but damn!

im fucking work hard to make everything right now!

1 of my dear dear called ask what i plan for my future..

i say ntg, maybe simply marry a rich guy.. (marry him..?, i rather die)

so, what now..

i know must make a decision..

i know the dateline in closer now..

but i fucking dunno what to do maa!!!

keep drug myself everyday..

hey hey, i mean keep playing games..

from day til nite..

from nite til day..

spoilt my diet plan..

keep eat everything nice to chill me up..

now, totally not dare to face the mirror & know my weight..

fuck ! i duno what am i fucking crap over here now..

argh~! whatever la, cincai la

song most suit our relationship~ according to you ~ orianthi

According to you

I'm stupid, I'm useless,

I can't do anything right.

According to you

I'm difficult,

hard to please,

forever changing my mind.

I'm a mess in a dress,

can't show up on time,

even if it would save my life.

According to you.

But according to him

I'm beautiful, incredible,

he can't get me out of his head.

According to him

I'm funny, irresistible,

everything he ever wanted.

Everything is opposite,

I don't feel like stopping it,

so baby tell me what I got to lose.

He's into me for everything I'm not,

 according to you.

According to you

I'm boring,

I'm moody,

you can't take me any place.

According to you

I suck at telling jokes cause I always give it away.

I'm the girl with the worst attention span;

you're the boy who puts up with it.

According to you.

According to you.

I need to feel appreciated,

like I'm not hated.

oh-- no--.

Why can't you see me through his eyes?

It's too bad you're making me decide.

According to me

you're stupid,

you're useless,

you can't do anything right.

But according to him

I'm beautiful, incredible,

he can't get me out of his head.

According to him

I'm funny, irresistible,

everything he ever wanted.

Everything is opposite,

I don't feel like stopping it,

baby tell me what I got to lose.

He's into me for everything I'm not,

according to you. [you, you]

According to you. [you, you]

According to you

I'm stupid,

I'm useless,

I can't do anything right~

new year eve.. shryne see people's feel.. oh crap~

1st, shryne wish everybody happy new year.. today, 1st of january in my mind i must settle up all my mess of my pass.. there is a lots of thing i must face it, i cant ignore it forever, its my fate.. i cannot do other thing to upgrade myself if i haven done my base.. so, this is my plan, im goin to use half of 2010 to settle up all my mess.. this is my 2010 goal !!! *i know its small but this really help me a lots to make me walk better.. ^^

ok now, how i celebrate my count down yesterday.? im thinking of have some chilling activities v some of my best frens.. obviously they not really available for me for this special day.. T.T, so sad.. anyway, im still enjoy yesterday.. this is because i still have my bobo & my very old machi frens celebrate v me.. haha

the club is damn crowded & freaking smelly v those snowy spray things.. the most funny is my 2 gangs of pl they have their own table, which is most easy to recognize.. my bobo's table is at girls toilet there & my frens's table is at guys toilet there.. so i can easily find both of them.. haha

im so busy walking here & there to entertain both of them.. lolz.. go here dance a while, go there drink a while.. lolz, like a liqour gal.. im so enjoy club or hang out v alex & jinda them.. they make me really enjoy the enviroment, so miss the time when we always together since we all in form 3.. 3 of us hugging together dance then alex suddenlly say out he is so happy & cant believe so many years edi we still can be together until now, jus poor nicole she stuck in jam at kl so cant come over.. =(

when the party goin to end, most of the pl r drunk.. especially my fren's table.. i go to their table for last round, mr k seriouslly cant stand edi, he freaking drunk like hell.. i keep holding him & also entertain him dance a while suddenly he tell everybody he wan bring me home v him.. fuck ! i was shock..?? no la, i know him, fren don sleep v fren.. haha.. i know he is too lonely & sad cos keep heard he say to chloe that he is giving up.. (a girl he love so much) yes, man..! forget her since she don appreciate u, there still a lots of flowers waiting u out there.. whole new year, whole new life..

jus now chat v michelle on phone.. miss her & whole gang of them so much.. she & K still at s'pore & K's company is totally handle by him now.. so proud of him can success his goal b4 he 25 years old.. lolz.. cant believe he did it.. of cos, there is 1 more thing make me happy that is my 2 dear dear din forget me~ haha, they got wish me on time on yesterday.. hehe.. jus hate K ask me don keep change bf anymore, be steady.. swt, since when i keep change bf after the bastard..?!!! hng, u duno me K, im good gal now..! muaahah

ok, thats all my crap here.. phiew... now im goin to reach my little goal since i've say it here edi.. if not u guys sure laugh a me talk nonsence.. hahaha

happy new year my friends..! xoxo, muakz