i still miss u.. unforgiven

phiew.. finally take a damn deep breath ask abt u..

2 years edi, i still miss u..

ur pic still in my wallet..

i've never tell any new frens abt u..

wat u've done to me ??

is unforgiven..

but im the 1 who take down my face beg u back..

ITS VERY EMBARASED DAY

cool blood u, leave me v'out a word...

Today, i ask pl abt u

its stupid act

jus know its ur final year in mlys

no matter u still miss me ono

still remember me ono

I, 'dai gu jie'

wish

U, 'dai yi ma'

happy ever after

of cos wish our

'mommy' also

still remember our song

G.L.A.M.O.R.O.U.S

Thankz v'out let u know ><"

today.. shryne is very bad in mood in the morning when after back from college... she got some tragedi.. worst thing from a bloody slut biatch.. actually shryne edi have sense of get this tragedi happen bt this is more worst than she think.. anyway, i don wan talk abt this anymore.. pl who know me will can guess wat the hell happen on me again..

all right.. talk abt who shryne gal wan to thank... hehe, guess who??!! is my dum dum, bobo, & lovely babe nick.. hehe, bobo is enjoy playing his favourite dj mixer player now wif dunno wat am i doin over here.. the song he play is my favourite r&b song.. he is getting improve his skill now.. is he gonna be dj in future?? nah! i wont let him be, later those gal in club snatch my bobo away.. haha.. so selfish..

y suddenly talk so far?? lolz... crazy me.. ok, back to main..
after i back from college, the 1st person i wanna talk is babe ken, i know he is busy working in singapore now.. i don wan let him know how useless am i... i was very down & dissapointed 2 myself.. feel like i better do as my mom say... jus go work dun nid study since i don like 2 study.. bt mom, if wan me work, wat job should i do?? there 2 job offer to me in good salary only, jus modelling in s*** bmg, or be air stewardess... this 2 job make me feel more useless.. i have been heared a lot of bad thing abt this 2 job especialy gossip thing or girls fight..

i head damn pain like hell keep on worry this & that.. i feel like wanna release try find sum1else 2 talk... so i called my babe gurl victoria... the funny thing is i dunno how 2 talk 2 her.. i feel like don wan let any1 else know how useless am i.. haih........ shryne gonna crazy la !!! @#$^*

the best thing is drive car like crazy 2 cool myself down.. i love to cry in car.. dunno y, haha how freak am i.. swt thing is my tears didint out this time.. this make me more suffer..==" argh !!!! 2nd, i go play fb.. hahaha.. erm.. ok lo.. watch some korea stupid comedy laugh laugh a while den bobo come.. ask me out have lunch v him.. on the way to the stall we always go he suddenly feel like go sumwhere else eat & watch movie.. so we change our plan 2 times square..

woohoo..!! its long time bobo never pursposely bring me go shopping & watch movie !! muahahaha.. how happy am i?? thank god mayb know i very bad in mood... at times square we go eat ayam penyet after buy movie ticket.. lolz.. the ayam penyet taste too dry.. break my mood, js like guys love 2 say "potong stim".. dah! watever la.. after eat do wat??!!! of cos is all gal's love activities la !! shopping time !!! muahahahaha.....

i wanna shop as much as i wan.. but..... but.. but..... times square don have much the brand of boutique i wan !!! argh !! don care la.. js buy wat i like.. ngek ngek.. guess wat i buy ??!! lolz... LALA thing.. hahaa... i've try a lot of skirt over there.. wow all price cheap like hell & so their materials also cant convience me 2 buy them.. lolz, the most funy thing is bobo "beh tahan" all the clothes i tried.. cos its too LALA.. hahha.. u know gals mus at least buy sumthing 1 la sine they edi step in mall.. so i jus cincai buy 2 skirt & 1 beach bag.. && another 1 cute bag is for my babe gurl vicki's bday present.. gurl, i've try hard 2 choose as cute as i can wif my ur so called too mature taste.. hahha

i was very very happy after back from mall today... mus thanks 2 u, bobo.. help me release my bad mood.. phiew... release !!! muahahah.. thank you...^^

A letter for u..

I know u wont see my blog even u help me create it.. i jus wanna say out my final feel..




Bobo,

Do u really love me ? I mean in sincere, do u ever think of marriage ? If u do love me then how u show me your love ?

Yes, i know u love me all the time, especially beginning of our relationship, we have been gone through many thing before our relationshp start. But is it through by heart i dont know, i always doubt it. I do think of our marriage, because u always talk about it when we together. But is it the end of our love sory is happy ever after ? I do always love u, u know it, u can feel it, but u feel irritating with it.

Babe, u always dont care anything at all because u dont want do extra thing or u lazy with it. Even your girlfriend u can leave her back alone when during her birthday. Never think of any plan for her when her birthday, just leave her alone have supper at mcD count down her own birthday and walk at mall alone during her birthday. How u can be so cruel to me ? I dont know whats my wrong, i have this kind of worst birthday in my life.

We always argue, we also argue at christmas, new year eve, chinese new year, my birthday, valentine, your birthday & any other celebration. Normal days, we sure argue more than 5 times a week. U always make excuses of discount your care & love to me by your experience with your ex. Is it u should do this kind of fucking thing to me ?

Babe, since u so lazy & dont care at all. So, what my conclusion is its time for me to let u go ahead enjoy your own lazy life. U know what i want from from u, u know its easy, u still lazy to change it. I start lazy to love u since u so lazy. Bye, my bobo..

Love, babe

What kind of mood ???

One year once funeral coming soon.. ken, michelle, anna, nick, bryan, jordan, kim and shryne..... eight, just left 8 of us only... where the others 10 pl going ?? its been 6 years edi... people coming its getting less n less.. this 6 years a lot of thing happen.. i lost a lot of thing, i lost my fren, my career, my true love again and again.. its 3rd time i lost my dearest man last year.. its my revenge for what i've done for the pass.. what should i talk to them when i see them since the worst mistake i make last year? time go so fast, its almost 1 year edi.. its 1st time i so blur choose not listen to them, make them sad n worry abt me again n again.. when i get hurt, they worry me like hell keep on asking am i fine and take good care of me when i back from the hell place.. i know im so selfish and childish always don like 2 face the truth when somethng unhappy happen, i jus know hide behind of u all only.. i feel so guilty when everytime think of babe postpone his career at singapore jus becos of me.. im sorry babe.. hmm, now i think i know wat to tel u when i meet u edi.. hahax.. i think u'll be very proud of me when u hear wat i've done n learn for this 1 year.. miss u all so much, and also the life of hip hop..

Helpless...

Im so lonely, feel so empty.. Cant believe my 1 more important pl leave me...... why ! why u all must leave me alone here..? All of my dearest leave is for their future, that i can forgive.. But u ! u this stupid bastard ! how cum u so stupid do this kind of thing ! why u so stupid mix with those kind of pl make u go in this fucking shit road ! u say jus do it 1 time only but how ?!! now this 1 time make u cant come back anymore...

my dear, i really dunno wat happen to u.. i dunno why u wan do this but do u ever think of ur family be4 u did ths ?? do u know godfather & mom very worry and sad abt u when i go visit them after this incident?? last year i tot u edi mature, wont simply make mistake anymore.. since u take over ur dad's business every1 is looking good at u even mr.K** also.. me & godfather, ur dad was proud of u also.. after the incident which hapen on me last year, its almost 1 year i never meet u edi.. i know we can meet each other and our gang on our fren's funeral.. but now, we cant see u anymore or maybe 10 years later.. dear, u're the 1 who also protect me so much as ur real sister even our relationhip end, u stil care for me so much.. i really cant take this fate that i'll lost u jus like this.. i cant believe it.. i duno wat to say, i jus know im freaking mad at u !! Damn u ! u seriouslly is a stupid asshole ! however, jus take k whereever u are.. we will miss u so much,gor..

What love is ?

There are a lots of question i feel like every pl can't explain the best question is WHAT IS LOVE ??

Q : What is love ?

A1 : Love is care the person more than urself.. (bullshit! if u care urself than how u able to care other pl!)

A, from wikipedia : Love, as an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and platonic love to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love. Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts. (wow, so detail til i stil not understand this crap)

There is some answer from 4-8 years old kids.. Its awesome ! Easy, short & straight !

• 'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.' Rebecca- age 8
  
• 'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' Billy - age 4
  
• 'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.' Chrissy - age 6
  
• 'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.' Terri - age 4
  
• 'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.' Danny - age 7
  
• 'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.' Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
  
• 'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.' Noelle - age 7
  
• 'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,' Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
  
• 'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.' Cindy - age 8
  
• 'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken..' Elaine-age 5
  
• 'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.' Mary Ann - age 4
  
• 'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it.. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.' Jessica - age 8

And the final one

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

hmm..... so its LOVE, its important in many ways even in even those boys & girls method, family & others.. actually i dunno wat am i talking abt bt i really like all the answer from those kids, its very meaningful..

Should I mad at u ??!!!!!

gal, u're my best ever fren even i dunno u got treat me as like this be4 or not.. but i really treat u sincerely.. when in secondary, u know there are a lots of thing happen around us, all our frens.. but u know, i would never lie on u.. i always stand by u no matter wat happen.. even u're making some wrong decision, yes i'll scold u & keep on advise u like grandmada but u know de end i support u & prepare 2 lend u my shoulder when u need it.. im always there for u, u're the only 1 i say out all my secret, when im freaking happy & not happy, im jus thinking to find u out.. i miss the time u came 2 my house overnite & u not dare 2 wake up eary than me den i always took pillow 2 knock ur head.. i miss de time we almost everyday hang out together even jus go for a lunch o wat, cos we'll feel damn weird if we din meet each other 1 day.. then u went to kl study early dan me.. first few weeks, we chat in phone everyday, haha, funny there is 1 time we both pursposely don wan cal to each other for 1 week den we complain each other to our bf.. there are a lots of memory abt u.. i always act stupid & 4give u when u did sumthing wrong o take benefit from me cos i treat u as my best true fren even i know sumtime i fierce when im not happy..

gal, u know ?? its been near 1 year edi.. u seldom ask me out.. u always busy when i ask u so.. u beeing more & more strange to me.. how cum u not dare 2 cum my bday party alone since u're most close to me ?? even pei ling this little gal she aso dare to cum alone, cos she treat me as her good fren.. why? why u cant ??!! my heart really pain when im thinking of my best fren didnt come on my big day ?? de feel is fucking lonely, lonely dan being single.. yesterday, again.. u dissapointed me again.. finally u say u're free to hang out yam cha v me.. i was so happy cos can share my all recently unhappy things v my best fren.. but de end, 8 pm i call u, u say u need wait for sum1 to give things, fine, i wait for u another hour.. 9 pm, u called, u ask me 2 wait for u until 12 am (means 4 hours) cos u got thing to do again but u never told me wat it is so dat i can have a reason to 4give u.. NO ! u never ! den until 1.20 am, u msg me ask me stil wanna hang out ?? sorry babe, its too late..(not de time, is u make me hurt) i dunno wat kind of emo i can use 2 face u.. u're my best true fren, how true ? 1st, i would never ever lie on u. 2nd, im always true to u, happy o unhappy. 3rd, im always stand by u no matter wat happen with no doubt........

but now.. im doubt abt u.. i think i shouldnt mad at u.. maybe u're not my last time *po anymore..

anyway, hope u happy ever after with ur own life..